What in the Shaman?!

On a Friday in November 

I had a "see if we connect" 

appointment with a Shaman.

Shaman, healer, witch doctor, a lot of woowoo and a whole lot of whoa!

 

It had been on my mind about reaching out to someone like this after speaking with a couple of my clients and friends who had seen psychics. I was held back by the thought of being judged by my christian circle because is this "allowed" but after many many opportunities presented themselves I decided to message her on Instagram after hearing her on a podcast. Weird; I know.

We set up a call. The old fashioned kind where we just talked. No zoom or Facetime. So she not only doesn't know me, never heard of me and she cant SEE me.

She started by asking some questions like 

Tell me why you contacted me 

I said I have chronic pain for the last 5 years that has me doubled over with burning feet, swollen knees, sciatica pain that never lets go, my back goes out, my neck cricks over, I would drag my leg, limp and couldn't grip anything by the end of the week which is hard when I use my hands for work. I've cut out gluten, dairy, walked, rode a bike, worked out, rested,  I’ve been to the doctor told I probably have Fibromyalgia, and to a naturopath who fought for an MRI, told by a clinic in PDX to wait for my spine to fuse then the pain should subside. 

The last 3 years the pain has gotten very severe. I rarely let it slow me down even when getting off the sofa was a slow stand and a gentle walk, but I spent a lot of time recovering from long days or week and resting or trying to sleep which was also eluding me.

She said tell me about your pain where is it and what hurts the most and what side does or hurt on

I said back, legs and right side which I actually never thought much about. The location that is.

She ask how’s your relationship with your dad?

I'm sorry.. what.. but ok

I said non existent I cut ties 4 years ago. 

He sent me two emails basically telling me I’m a let down, selfish, self centered and arrogant signed the last one "have a nice life and goodbye"

We've not spoken since, but more on that at a different time. 

She said that’s why you’re in pain and it’s right side your holding in shame, guilt and grief and you feel responsible to do this for your family to stop the generational trauma but you also feel you need to fix it because of your kids.

I'm sorry excuse me; AGAIN? First of all this is all true.
I do feel all those things, but why would that be manifesting physical pain?

She said that the pain is in my fascial system and it’s basically stuck energy 

She said I absorb from everyone around me and feel responsible to help or fix things for all people but I feel guilty doing it for myself..

Also true. 

She said I have 38 generations of unhealed trauma from my mom, and grandma, and great grandma and on down the line. 

I asked how she knows if she would see me as  client. She said she got 14 post it notes of what she calls "downloads" about me so its a go. 

She shared some of them with me, but those are for later too. 

One of the downloads she got was that I have a lot to say but my throat chakra is out of alignment and that I often feel “unseen” and “unheard”. This is probably surprising to most because I do say a lot, but after reflecting on it I realized I have no problem saying it for others, but I can't or wont for myself.

I felt good after talking to her. I feel like I have been searching and I know the energy is stuck because I literally am a slug who can’t even get her house cleaned. It’s like a depressive state that was a slow burn so I did't realize how bad I was feeling not only physically, but also mentally and emotionally. 

Throughout that Friday I had many puzzle pieces move in my mind, spent most of the day reflecting and a lot of things aligned. 

There’s no way she could have known the things she was asking so directly.

The weirdest part of the whole experience was that on Saturday, the very next day I woke up pain free. Not a little bit of relief, not a gradual release, but free.

I'm not exaggerating for the first time in YEARS I am free of pain. The energy unstuck.

For years since we moved here I thought the farm was going to be a place that heals wounds I didn't know when, how, or who and I definitely didn't think it was going to be me.

I hope you know, I love you big. Kal